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Monday, November 23, 2009

(770): his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

(360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

(314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

(303): she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?

(917): the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob

(416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

(626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

(720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being"almost".

(443): And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

(519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

(734): Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.

(330): Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

(757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

(609): the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

(914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

(631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

(3:53 PM) Dancing with all the stars aboveYYY