My blog. My world. My rules. Now get on your knees.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

(917): It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall

(904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

(203): We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

(210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

(978): you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

(506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

(201): I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

(813): I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.

(252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

(845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

(832): What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

(914): Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty

(847): My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo

(610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
(631): Samesies

(609): I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

(8:54 PM) Dancing with all the stars aboveYYY